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Two men are facing a Federal criminal complaint out of the Northern District of New York for allegedly hatching a plot to create an X-Ray gun capable to shooting lethal doses of X-Ray radiation. Alleged members of the Ku Klux Klan, Glendon Scott Crawford, 49, of Galway, NY and his buddy Eric J. Feight, 54, of Hudson, NY have been arrested and charged with the Federal crime of conspiracy to provide material support to terrorists in violation of 18 USC 2339A. If convicted of the charges, Mr. Scott and Mr. Feight face up to 15 years in the Federal Bureau of Prisons and a large fine. The essence of the criminal complaint is that these two “gentlemen” schemed to create a mobile, remotely operated, radiation emitting device capable of killing targets from afar with a mega dose of radiation. Their alleged intent was to blast unknowing victims with said radiation, only to have their victims fall ill days later and eventually die. Despite their dedicated intentions, at no time was their cartoon ray gun operable or even capable of fulfilling their double secret squirrel plot according to authorities.

Is the KKK really involved? If so it looks as if at least some of them have now graduated from wearing white uniforms that look like Casper’s redneck friend Crisper and hurting people, to generally screaming at rallies in cities, to now plotting attacks with hi tech laser tag guns? Can anyone fill me in here? I’m proud to admit that I don’t knowingly know anyone in the KKK so I can’t attest to the intelligence level of the group as a whole or any of them as individuals, but this seems to me like they’re grasping at straws a bit. Ray guns? Seriously? Dumb, dadumb, dumb, dumb… Whatever bobs their bobber I guess, but there will likely be consequences to thinking and behaving like fools.
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A man in South Carolina was pushed off his moped and subsequently beaten with his own prosthetic leg Monday afternoon. Joel Parrish, 35, of Myrtle Beach is alleged to have performed this ridiculous and heinous act without any reason being offered or provocation known. Parrish may as well give up on his dream of being Myrtle Beach’s citizen of the year and his chances at earning a key to the city are likely compromised after he inflicted head injuries to the man on the moped. It’s doubtful his partner in the crime, who is alleged to have held down the man on the moped, will be asked to join the Big Brothers, Big Sisters chapter of Myrtle Beach either. Both men are alleged to have pushed the man off of his moped only to punch and kick him while ultimately beating him with his prosthetic leg when it came off in the fracas. According to a police report it is recommended that the particular South Carolina State Attorney’s Office charge Parrish with Assault and Battery of the 2nd Degree.

I’m not a South Carolina lawyer so I have no earthly idea what the gravity of the charges are against Mr. Parrish in his home State. I’ve handled enough cases to know that if you’re accused of this kind of thing in the Bay area you better get a good Tampa criminal attorney retained sooner rather than later. If this type of thing happened in the Tampa area I could see someone being charged with battery or in the alternative possibly aggravated battery and very likely criminal mischief to whatever level.
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71 year old Pennsylvania man William Moody had a bad day. Just this past Friday Moody became enraged when a good samaritan parked in his driveway so as to render aid to a victim of a nearby accident. According to a report, the samaritan only blocked Moody in for 10 minutes, a 10 minute period just before Moody intended on going to eat. Needless to say, Mr. Moody became “hangry” and proceeded scream at both the good Samaritan and officers who attempted to calm him down. Despite their efforts, Officers ended up being pushed and ultimately had to dodge a good looking set of dentures launched their way. Upon officers attempting to arrest the very moody Moody, it is alleged that he feigned a heart attack only to have officers remove the handcuffs. They were repaid with more abuse, ultimately culminating with Moody throwing his false teeth at them when they arrived at the police station.

Clearly somebody should have given this man a Snickers. Had that occurred it is very likely none of this would have happened as we all know we aren’t ourselves when we’re hungry! Instead, Moody will be charged with a slew of violence and resisting arrest charges in his home State of Pennsylvania. Because Florida is awesome, this type of thing happens here with regularity. In Florida, under this fact pattern, Moody would be charged at minimum with battery on a law enforcement officer and resisting arrest with violence. Battery on a law enforcement officer is generally a third degree felony, punishable by up to five years in prison. Generally speaking, a battery on a law enforcement officer is nothing more than an actual and intentional touching of another against their will or an intentional touching that causes harm and the victim is known to be a law enforcement officer. A Tampa criminal attorney can often mount a mitigating defense that the accused had no idea the victim was an officer. If successful, the battery on a law enforcement officer charge would likely go away, resulting in a total acquittal or a conviction for a misdemeanor count of simple battery. Unfortunately for Mr. Moody, if these officers were wearing a uniform, were in a marked car, or identified themselves as officers, his goose is likely cooked. From the appearance of the dentures Mr. Moody could be lucky he isn’t being charged with assault with a deadly weapon or an act of terrorism due to the funk on his chops. Time will tell on that…
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Tampa man John Andrew Welden, 26, is facing a Federal charge in the middle district of Florida for allegedly tricking his girlfriend into ingesting the abortion pill cytotec. Welden, whose father is an OB/GYN doctor was arrested May 15th and is specifically alleged to have forged a prescription form and disguised the cytotec as Amoxicillin. Welden’s girlfriend and alleged victim, Remee Jo Lee had no health insurance at the time she found out she was pregnant and sought the care of Welden’s father for a sonogram. John Andrew Welden is alleged to have lied to Lee and told her his father diagnosed her with an infection and administered the cytotec disguised as Amoxicillin to combat the alleged infection without her knowledge and consent. Welden is further alleged to have held himself out as being a medical doctor and counseled Lee when the cytotec reacted to Lee’s body, causing heavy cramping and bleeding. It was only when Lee took the remaining pills to a pharmacist when she learned that what she was ingesting was not Amoxicillin at all.

Welden was indicted on Federal criminal charges via a two count indictment, true bill returned May 14, 2013 alleging that he violated 18 USC 1365(a) by tampering with consumer products resulting in serious bodily injury to an individual and 18 USC 1841 and 1111(a) for causing death to an unborn child the same as murder. For purposes of figuring out what Welden is looking at with respect to a criminal sentence, we have to strip down the allegations. Simply put, Welden is accused of murder, as per 18 USC 1841(a)(C) his punishment shall be guided by 18 USC 1111, the Federal murder statute. Because murder is the most serious allegation and the charges will be “grouped” as they arose out of the same incident, it will govern the sentence possibilities. 18 USC 1111(a) calls for death or life imprisonment if a defendant is found guilty of first-degree murder. First Degree Murder, as it applies to this case, is the unlawful killing of a human being with malice aforethought. Every murder perpetrated by poison, lying in wait, or any other kind of willful, deliberate, malicious, and premeditated killing…. Because 18 USC 1841 specifically interjects a murder punishment for the death of an unborn child if the conduct is applicable, an unborn child under this situation, and per this statutory scheme, is considered a human being. No doubt the United States Attorney’s Office will seek a first degree murder conviction against Welden and they may well get it if they can show that the cytotec can be considered “poison” or that his actions were willful, deliberate, malicious, and premeditated. If the United States Attorney’s Office can put together the paper trail against Welden and maintain the alleged victim’s credibility, Welden’s Federal criminal lawyer may have his or her work cut out for them.
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If you’ve previously read our blog, you’ll know that it is an effort to provide an interesting read on funny or hot button topics from the perspective of a Tampa criminal lawyer. Our hope is that we can bring some knowledge on the law while also giving a perspective of how a case is viewed from our side of the fence. Today I’ll break from that trend as there is nothing funny about the acts of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev and his older brother. These individuals robbed our Country and one of our finest cities of a sense of security while taking with that the lives and quality of life of innocent bystanders supporting something so pure as the challenge of the Boston Marathon. Those of us that practice Federal criminal law stand before our Judges every month in an effort to introduce them to an individual as opposed to a case number. We squeeze every bit of good in a person onto a sentencing memorandum in the hope that we can shave off a fraction of the person’s sentence. As a general rule, within each of our clients there is some good and it can be argued that though the individual may be before a particular judge on a particular day, the act for which they are there is not the sum total of who the person is. With the freshness of this massacre as it currently stands, it would be tough to make that argument here. Some will demand Tsarnaev’s head on a stake, some will beg for mercy due to his age. Both are entitled to their opinion. This great country and its resolve is to thank for the ability to own your opinion.

As it stands on the date of this blog, Tsarnaev has been charged by criminal complaint in Federal Court. Rest assured a Grand Jury will be empaneled on this case and they will provide an indictment and this case will move forward based on that. As for now, Tsarnaev is charged via complaint with “Use of a Weapon of Mass Destruction” under 18 USC 2332(a) and “Malicious Destruction of Property Resulting in Death” under 18 USC 844(i). Someone died as a result of the deeds of these brothers. As with any Federal Case one of the first steps in sentence calculation is to take a look at the Federal Guidelines to get a rough idea as to where the potential sentence may stand. Going in order, the charge of “Use of a Weapon of Mass Destruction” is most likely to be guided under Federal Guideline 2M6.1. Immediately because a little boy died, this guideline could call for a cross reference with Guideline 2A1.1 for first degree murder as the death was most definitely caused intentionally or knowingly. The base offense level for that, regardless of criminal history is 43, which equates to life. However, under 2M6.1(c)(1) because a higher offense level could be built using 2M6.1 by taking the base offense level of 42 and adding 4 levels for death, the first degree murder cross reference doesn’t happen. Generically, for Tsarnaev’s use of a weapon of mass destruction, he’s looking at a potential total offense level of 46 which would equate to life. As for the “Malicious Destruction of Property Resulting in Death” the applicable guideline is 2K1.4. Again there calls for a first degree murder cross reference under 2A1.1, this time applicable as that guideline is higher at 43.
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Hillsborough County woman, Laquavia Sharelle Wallace, 28, was arrested on April 16, 2013 in Manatee County for domestic battery after allegedly travelling to her ex-boyfriend’s house to pick up their child and demanding to reinstate their relationship. Upon her arrival and levying of demands, Antonio Williams informed Ms. Wallace that he was uninterested in reigniting their love light, clearly to his detriment. In what can only be imagined to be the scenario of “if I can’t have you, no one can,” Wallace proceeded to grab the penis of Mr. Williams, yanking it violently thereby causing him extreme pain. Luckily for Mr. Williams he was able to overcome the assault by grabbing Ms. Wallace’s arms and fending her off. Ultimately Ms. Wallace was arrested in Manatee County and charged with misdemeanor domestic battery. Not necessarily surprisingly for a domestic violence type of case, Mr. Williams has asked the State Attorney’s Office not to prosecute the case.

Domestic Violence in Florida is governed by Florida Statute 741.28 and defines “domestic violence” for purposes of this particular set of facts as any battery resulting in physical injury to a family member. “Family Member” as applicable to this pair of combatants would apply because they have a common child together. Lastly, Florida Statute 784.03 describes a battery as an actual or intentional touching or striking of another person against their will; or intentionally causing bodily harm to another person. According to the facts of this incident, should the State Attorney decide to move forward on the charges they could potentially prove the case. If the State has adequate testimony from the victim, preferably an independent witness, or pictures of injury they would have a shot at proving this domestic battery beyond a reasonable doubt. As with any battery case, without injury or independent witnesses, a savvy Tampa criminal lawyer could assert a he said/she said defense and cite the fact that the State can’t meet their burden of proving that there is no other reasonable explanation for the allegations but for the notion that a battery has occurred. That’s not easy to do.
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Pennsylvania woman, Jessica Lynn Weitkamp, 28, is alleged to have entered a Wal- Mart in Pennsylvania with no regard of the standard “no shirt, no shoes, no service” sign. It is alleged that Ms. Weitkamp entered the Wal-Mart, nude, and casually strolled through the store’s aisles, yelling at interested onlookers and breaking $346 worth of merchandise in the process. We’ve all borne witness to many of nature’s miracles when perusing the inventory at our local Wal-Mart stores. From cutting edge fashion to the latest trends in automotive technology and design, Wal-Mart is a treasure trove of information worthy of the rise of even the most scrutinizing eyebrow. Ms. Weitkamp, if she in fact performed these alleged deeds, simplified what can normally be seen at Wally World and in doing so, ramped up the intensity levels far beyond the norm. Despite her alleged actions likely being completely accepted for those members of the “People of Wal-Mart” society, Officer Friendlies throughout our great nation may not be of the same opinion. Evidently and unfortunately for Jessie Lynn, these Pennsylvania officers did not agree with her artful expression.

In all honesty when I saw this headline I immediately thought she would need a Tampa criminal attorney, as no doubt this had to happen in a nearby village in Florida. While that could generally be a reasonable assumption, this incident is far from here geographically. What if we used our imaginations as if this did occur in Florida? What would Ms. Weitkamp be charged with? Several things.
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Tennessee man Jerimiah Clyde Hartline, 19, was arrested on suspicion of grand theft, driving without a license and hit and run for stealing an 18 wheeler, crashing it, and causing a giant traffic jam in Temecula, California earlier this month. First off, sweet name. Only a guy with a name like this from the hills of the dirty south would have the presence of mind to commandeer a big rig to prevent a zombie attack. Excellent thinking Clyde. No, not really as this has Florida written all over it. Meanwhile, back at the ranch… According to the California Highway Patrol, Hartline informed authorities that he stole the truck from a weigh station in Rainbow, California because he was sure zombies were hot on his trail. Further, despite his high speed driving and swerving all over the road, the zombies wouldn’t shake loose eventually causing Mr. Hartline to crash the truck and injuring many. As a result of the zombie attack and subsequent crash, all four lanes of the interstate were closed for several hours while cleanup crews cleared the truck from the road and corralled the two loads of strawberries on board. According to the news report it is “unknown whether Hartline was under the influence of drugs or alcohol.”

Yes, it would be a mystery as to whether Mr. Hartline was sober or slightly influenced by an “extracurricular” substance… Man, I wonder if he was? Time will tell with a potential DUI. As for now, we know he’s getting charged with grand theft. If I were a betting man I’d estimate he will be charged with DUI with serious bodily injury as well.
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A New York man is wanted for stealing ladies undergarments from a New York City apartment building. Elizabeth Santana, a resident of the apartment building first noticed her underwear was missing from her laundry when left unattended. Unable to figure out what happened, Ms. Santana requested and viewed surveillance video from the laundry room. Low and behold her worst fears were true as she saw a young white male sneaking into the laundry room, proceed to open the dryer containing her clothes, and subsequently sneak out with panties in tow. Not surprisingly this was not the first time lady’s undergarments were taken from the same apartment building. Just three months prior there was an initial report of the same thing. Other apartment buildings in the area reported missing underwear as well though it is unknown if the same purveyor of panty is responsible or if he is working with an entire team of panty raiders.

Depending on the amount of underwear stolen and the fanciness of same will determine whether this unknown male could be charged with a felony grand theft or a misdemeanor petit theft. Either way Florida Statute 812.014 is applicable. Because this panty thief has knowingly obtained the property of these ladies with the intent to either deprive them of the property’s use or to appropriate the panties to his own use (weird and gross) he would be guilty of some type of theft crime. If the value of the panties is $300 or more, under subsection (c) he would be facing a third degree felony. If it’s $299.99 or less, he’s still in misdemeanor country if considering the theft only.
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A Louisiana man and woman recently stripped of their parental rights are thought to have kidnapped their own children from the children’s maternal Grandmother early Wednesday. Joshua Michael Hakken and his wife, Sharyn Patricia Hakken are alleged to have broken into the Tampa residence of Patricia Hauser, tied her up, and kidnapped their biological children. Within the past few months the children were sent to live with Hauser after the Hakkens lost their parental rights over the children. Hillsborough County Sheriff’s investigators say Joshua Michael Hakken entered Hauser’s home at 6:30AM Wednesday, proceeded to tie up the children’s’ Grandmother and then fled in Grandma’s 2009 Toyota Camry.

The Tampa criminal attorney that gets this case might as well open up the criminal statute book and proceed to dump it out on his desk. There really doesn’t seem to be much Pops hasn’t done wrong in his kid caper. Burglary? Check. Kidnapping? Check. Grand Theft? Yes sir, we have that too! False Imprisonment shouldn’t be left out and really neither should battery. Again, lets dump this statute book out right here on the desk of Hakken’s selected Tampa criminal lawyer. So how does it all work and fit together? Grab a seat, this may take a while.
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